Why again? Why now?

~Nov. 19, 2003~

I want to scream. I want to cry. Hell, I want to beat the crap out of Franco. But that wouldn't do any good. He's not the one that's screwed me. He's just the one that gave me the bad news. Or maybe he is the one that screwed me. He said he told J about it, but J had the same opinion as I did. That Valentina would be here to watch the boys when we got back. Not on a sabatical to her mom's until January. So once again I'm left with the distasteful task of finding a babysitter that can watch the boys, like now. And this means settling for what I can get. And that makes me physically ill. My boys deserve better than that. I want them to have better than that. How do I even know if I can trust the person to take care of them if I have to settle? Oh, Aset, why does this keep happening???

Damn I hate it here.

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