Mornings suck.

~Aug. 25, 2002~

*sighs*

It's morning, and there's no one on to chat with. And since I really shouldn't have logged on it's quite a bummer that no one's about. Especially since the two people I would chat with, and the one that I really wanted to are both marked as away. I'd rather they weren't even logged on. At least that way I would have known not to have bothered to start downloading stuff thinking I'd be chatting only to get an away message. I just knew weekends weren't going to be good anymore. The good time for them isn't good for me, and the good time for me isn't good for them. And I knew that would happen. But that doesn't make it any better or easier to deal with. Just makes me feel more isolated and farther away from people than I really am. Maybe I just shouldn't log on in the mornings at all, and thus prevent all this.

I ache today. Both from the physical exertion yesterday, not getting enough sleep and being sick. Though it needed it, and I'm glad I cleaned the living room, I really should have picked a better, healthier time to do it. I did far too much for being sick. And that there are still areas of the house that are looming up at me doesn't make me feel any better. Oddly enough, I find myself resisting the urge and impulse to get up and wreak havoc on the monster that is known as my kitchen. It's mostly taking out the trash, really, but since that's mostly diapers and they're heavy, which means only 2 trips to the dumpster before my arms give out...

Have you ever needed to do something that you knew you had to do, and things would be better after you did it, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it because it just seems like such a monumental task? Yea, I have a few of those in my life at the moment. Mostly mundane things, like the kitchen, going through and getting rid of some of the boys toys and clothes, and slicking my harddrive and reinstalling everything. There are less mundane things as well, but I don't wanna talk about them right now.

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