Rough Night...

~May. 22, 2003~

Goddess, today is gonna suck. There's nothing to do at work, and I have to find some way to look busy all day. Joy. Yesterday was great, aside from being sick, that is. It was busy. All day. So time just flew past. Today, not so lucky. Which bites 'cause I didn't sleep for shit last night.

And that is due to J sleeping on the couch. Dunno why he did, but he did. Laid down with me last night, but wasn't tired, so got up a couple minutes later so I could sleep, and went for a walk outside. I slept really restlessly, but never quite woke up. Than, at 3 I did, and he's passed out on the couch, pants on the love seat, and snoring away. Shortly there after he woke up and came to bed, but I than had to get up to come to work.

*sigh* And now the insecurity kicks in as to why he slept on the couch... If he was tired, why not come to bed? And I can't believe he didn't know he was going to fall asleep. Hell, the lights were out, his pants off, and he was kicked back... I seriously need to work on this insecurity issue before it kills me...

Than, a little while ago, he was over here, and bent over, so I peeked at his butt. Made the comment that he needs to clean out his wallet, damned thing is HUGE!, so he starts pullin' stuff out. He's got more stuff in there than a woman has in her purse, I swear! He pulls out some pictures, and hands them to me, most of which are of family. He's got some really cute nephews and nieces, I tell ya. Than one picture I asked about turned out to be the younger sister of a riend of his that had a serious thing for him, and wants to try and work things out in the future. Gods above, she was gorgeous! Much prettier than me, which didn't make me fell better. Nor does it make me feel good that he's still got it.

See what I mean? This insecurity bullshit is gonna kill me...

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