Gods above and below!

~Aug. 10, 2002~

I almost lost Tristan today. The three of us had been having a rather good day, and had finished dinner with both of them having eaten everything, so I was quite happy. We all snuggled together on the couch and were finishing up watching The Road to Eldorado, and he got up, went into his room and started playing in there. I didn't think anything of it, as he or Jared have done that often enough, and there's nothing in there they can get hurt with, except, of course, if one of them hits the other with it.

The movie is almost over, and for some reason I got up, wanting to hug him suddenly and went to see how he was doing. I walked in the room to find him halfway out the window! We live on the third floor, and there's no ledge. I pulled him back inside, rather roughly I must admit, and scolded him.

I looked out the window and dicovered that he'd been throwing things out, and there was a collection of things in the yard of the people on the first floor. After putting the screen down again, and closing the roll shutter and window, I went and collected his toys. I didn't even know he could open the window, let alone the screen! What would have happened had I not gone in to hug him?

Now I'm sitting here on the verge of crying, thinking I'm an irresponsible mother, than telling myself that I couldn't have known he could do that, as he's never done it before, than telling myself that I should have checked on him sooner.

I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I had meant to write you about I don't know what, but since this is all I can think about at the moment... I keep seeing him crawling out the window and feeling my heart stop and my blood run cold. I can't believe I almost lost one of my babies today.

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