Happily...

~Aug. 20, 2002~

Ever After is such a good movie. My favorite part is when Daniella punches her step-sister, the blonde bitch. Sadly, my least favorite prat is right after, when the bitch tosses her father's book in the fire... That part just tears at my heart strings.

I should be getting ready for bed right now, since I need to get up at around 6, but I figure the boys will wake up, thus wake me up sooner than that, so I'm not overly worried about it. I've got more training starting tomorrow. Sort of on the same stuff as before, though that was software applications and this will be more what it is, I think. Though I could be wrong too. I'm just glad that Crystal will be there to pester.

Yesterday she came over in the evening and we watched Brigadoon with the boys. She kept looking at me funny because I was singing along. She about died when the wedding scene came on and I picked up first Tristan than Jared, and started dancing with them to the bagpipes. The boys loved it, though. They're great fans of dancing. The smile and laugh... And there's just nothing in the world like the sound of them laughing. I seriously think it's the best sound in the world.

My friend Patrick sent me more chocolates this weekend, well, I got them this weekend, and I've been munching, well sucking really, on them all evening. They are some of the best chocolates I've ever had. Much better than Godiva in my opinion. And since I'm the one eating them, that's all that matters. But he's so sweet to me to send them when I'm out.

I told him he was going to spoil me by doing that, and he said I deserved to be spoiled. I jokingly played it off, but it sort of stuck in my head. Why do I deserve to be spoiled when there are others that can barely get by? Why should I be spoiled when I try not to spoil my boys? That would seem a bit hypocritical to me. And what about me makes me so deserving anyway? I'm just me. Nothing more, nothing less. Just me.

Since the boys were born, and I divorced Frank, people keep telling me that they don't know how I do it, raising the boys, working full time, and all the rest. They tell me they wouldn't be able to do it, but for most of them, I think they're wrong. I've done it because I had to. I made the decision to try to have kids, than I made the decision to leave Frank, and try to make a better homelife for the boys away from him than with him. I won't say it's been easy, but when Jared or Tristan comes up to me, hugs me for no reason other than impulse, or when they climb into my lap and kiss me, or they smile, or laugh, and I feel my heart swell to bursting with happiness that I have these two precious creatures in my life, I forget about the difficult parts. And I love them even more.

And now, I'm going to go kiss them goodnight.

Adeiu.

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