Why...

~Sept. 29, 2002~

I got an email today from someone asking me why I have so many people associated with MPD listed in my favorites. I was asked if I had it, or if I'm just some sicko that likes to read about other peoples mental problems. I don't really need to explain myself, but as it's something that I've been thinking about, I figured I'd write it all out.

When I was younger, I had problems with anger. Serious problems. If I got too mad, I would black out, and not remember anything. Nothing. And what I'd be told about what I had said or done didn't sound like me at all. There were other times as well, but those were the most prominent.

I didn't really think anything of it for awhile, as my therapist had said it was most likely caused by the intense amount of rage I had towards my real father and my adoptive father, and at the time I bought that explination.

Now, I've always been fascinated by the fact that in some people the mind will split and create different people if the person is subjected to severe abuse, molestation, torment, etc. So I've read a lot about it, and about people that have MPD. And some things started sounding familiar.

One day, I was chatting with a friend from Momma's and she started talking about her ex husband, who has MPD. So I started asking questions, and such, and when I told her about the things that had happened to me, and what I could remember, she said she thought I did, in fact, have MPD, and that maybe the alters had integrated already. I wasn't so sure about that, because wouldn't that have occured to my therapist?

So, one day, while updating my journal here, I see a banner that is to Lizbathory's journal concerning living with alters. So I went there to read it, hoping that maybe I'd get more insight into the disorder and see if there was something to Raven's thoughts. From there, I found the other ones, and keep going back to them, first to see if I could gleen some insight into the disorder and figure out the true possibility of having it, enough to see if I should seek a doctor, but now I also enjoy reading them as well.

So that's why. Maybe I do have MPD. Maybe I don't. I don't know, but I hope that one day things are explained and I can have my memories of my childhood back. Good or bad, I'd rather have them than the black hole that is my youth right now...

~3 Comments?~

~Previous ~ Next~

Did you miss something? Check and see...

Where I went
Just a shortie
Unconscious Mutterings for 19 Jan 04
Unconscious Mutterings for 11 Jan 04
Unconscious Mutterings for 04 Jan 04

All writing presented within these pages is copyright � Heather A. Boothby. Click here to read how this page is protected by copyright laws.

Everything else...

My Bloginality is ESFP!!!

Why...

Who to see...

Where to go...

What to do...

Everything else...